91 Years Young and Sharp as a Tack

My 91 year old neighbor told me I looked like a fashion model. OK...so she's 91 and she can't see really well and she can't hear very well, either, but this woman is as SHARP as any other human being I know, so I took the compliment. I also took into consideration that she doesn't get out much and doesn't watch television much, so she doesn't have much of a basis for comparison, but *SHE* thinks I'm beautiful and that was really nice.

Her bad eyesight is exactly why I spent the day with her today. She told me awhile ago that she could no longer read well. She lives alone and, as I said, she doesn't watch television, and reading is so important in her life.

So yesterday I called the Wal-Mart Vision center and made an appointment for her ~ that's where she went last time she had an eye exam. I wanted to wait awhile to make sure she had enough money to pay her taxes, as she seemed worried about that. And when I asked her if she could pay for an eye exam and a new prescription for her glasses, she said she could.

So when I called her to tell her that I had made her an appointment and asked her if today was good for her, she was her usual sweet, thankful self. She almost cried as she said, "Oh, thank you...thank you...I can't wait to read again."

Jake and Sam joined us today to help out when they could. That meant being a prisoner of Wal-Mart for awhile while I went to Brenda's appointment with her, but they managed to pass the time joyfully, browsing and shopping a bit and eating at the McDonald's that's in the back of the store.

Being with Mrs. Baldwin during her entire exam and afterward when we chose new glasses for her was absolutely necessary. There is no way she could have done that without me there to help her.

She's VERY hard of hearing (the next trip will be for a new hearing aid, I hope!) and not one other human being that talked to her today took that into consideration and bothered to speak up in order for her to hear. They just gave up if she didn't hear them, and then I would look at her and speak clearly and loudly. And she would hear me.

But what made me want to just lay down and cry throughout the day was the discrimination and downright rudeness that we encountered because she was not your typical patient/consumer. She took more time than other patients during the eye exam. The doctor was very wonderful, but, again, he didn't bother to speak up and tell *her* what was going on with *her* eyes. He would just speak to me.

From the time my children were very young, I found it rude when an adult would ask *me* a question about my child, when my child was right there. I never understood why other people didn't think my child could think and answer for himself. I always deferred the question to my child, the person to whom it was being asked. And my child would usually shock the living daylights out of the questioner with his eloquence and level of understanding.

Being with Mrs. Baldwin today took me right back to those days. The lack of respect that our typical society shows to children and to the elderly is staggering to me and makes my heart ache. I would listen to the doctor and then sum up what he was saying as best as I could and then translate it to Mrs. Baldwin. As I said before, she's not stupid (she DID call me a fashion model, remember ;), she is one smart woman. She just needs someone to take the time to speak to her in a way that allows her to hear what is being said. And I think when the subject of the conversation is her and her own body, that she's more than entitled to that information.

The doctor actually had little hope for her right eye, as the last time she had been in for an exam, her vision was 20/200. Wow. I saw that word on the wall that was 20/200 and it was BIG. She could read that, but nothing below it. She could only see the biggest word. So he wasn't going to even check that eye, thinking there was no way it would have changed, as she had had cataract surgery on it.

But I asked him to look at it and he did and he tested her with it and lo and behold, it HAD improved and was improving even more each time he added a new lens. She could read THREE of the lines! That was amazing and the doctor thanked me for my suggestion (fashion models are smart, too! ;).

The worst treatment she received was when we went to choose new frames. In walks the *SALESMAN*...not the doctor who's concerned about her vision...but the salesman who works on a commission, obviously, and showed no compassion for the life of an elderly woman who was watching closely where every one of her dimes went.

It was fun trying the glasses on Brenda. Her old glasses were large plastic ones, and she was drawn to the smaller wire frames. She looked SO GOOD IN THEM! I found her a pair that was $49 and she liked them and then we walked to the desk to sit down with the SALESMAN, knowing that this is where the price jumps MUCH higher than the $49 price-tag that hangs on the frames.

Well, Mr. Salesman smooth-talker tried to add on every extra feature there was to be had to Mrs. Baldwin's glasses, acting as if she just might DIE if she doesn't get the tinted frames or the non-glare glass. I kept telling him to not confuse the issue, just give us the basic glasses so she can read, but he kept trying. He let out a few impatient sighs and rude comments to me that were intended to be funny but weren't about her inability to hear well and I couldn't wait to get the whole thing overwith so that I could walk away from the entire scene with her, dignity still intact.

We finally were able to do so. And thank God my children aren't cooped up in a school building all day long, because there they were, offering to do what they could to help, so we sent them away shopping with Brenda's grocery list while Brenda and I ate lunch in McDonald's.

And what great shoppers they were! They got everything on her list except for a beef roast and the honey...but Brenda was so pleased and I was so thankful that they were living this real life, helping our elderly neighbor/friend, and learning something REAL today...more real than anything else in the world, and that's compassion and LOVE (not that they didn't already know about it, but we keep stretching the definitions of both concepts in our lives to include more and more and touching more and more lives and that's what's important).

Dropping Brenda off and taking in her groceries, I hugged her good-bye and said something that I realized was so true: I had fun with her. I enjoy talking to her. She's brilliant and insightful and knows more than anyone gives her credit for. She is my friend.

I slipped a little something extra in one of her grocery bags...the doctor told me that Wal-Mart sells an illuminated magnifying glass and a man with vision WAY worse than Brenda's said it was absolutley wonderful and that he could read large print books/magazines with it. So I got one for Brenda and she just called me up and insisted she pay me for it. She already gave Jake and Sam and I each $5 and gave me an envelope with money in it for Dave, as he picks up her garbage every week. But she always needs to feel like she's making her own way in life, so I told her that I would get the money for the magnifying glass from her the next time I saw her.

While I don't look forward to taking her back there to get her glasses fitted, I can't wait until she tells me that she's reading once again.

Living is Learning is Thinking is Asking is Getting Answers is Unschooling...

So yesterday, after Jake and Sam and I brought in wood, we were sitting on our back deck, having a drink and a snack and talking...

Sam asks, "Why is there an *X* on the end of *Grand Prix*?

DARN GOOD QUESTION!!

I thought about it and told him that I think it's because it's French...I went inside and got the dictionary and looked it up. Yes...it's because it's origin is French. I *dropped* the word etymology and Sam knew exactly what I was talking about (because we had talked about it before, but it was awhile ago and I wasn't sure he would remember what it was).

And darn it all, he also made a reference to what we were talking about by referring to something he had seen in a cartoon...but I can't think of what it was now and neither can he...but it was a really great connection at that moment! ;)

So while I had the dictionary on my lap I asked if he wanted to play a game where I would tell him a word and then tell him three definitions and he would choose which one was right for the word. He was game, so we played for a minute. He guessed two words right by process of elimination...he knew the other two definitions *didn't* apply to that word!

We closed the dictionary and went on with our snack and enjoying the glorious warm winter day...continuing our life of thinking and talking and learning and growing...

NYC ~ Expanding our worlds!

We had such a fantastic trip to the city. It fulfilled our desire for *more* at this time in our lives. We're usually quite content to be at home and do what we love to do at home and around our area...but my spirit was longing for something bigger and it turns out everyone else's was, too.

Jake got to fulfill his desire to go to the Guggenheim, which Sam had complained about earlier (added to his complaints about all the walking we had to do...). But once we got there, we dispersed in the gallery room that held the classic paintings by the famous artists, and Sam would come up to me and ask, "Did you listen to the story behind number 39 over there? Van Gogh painted that a week before he killed himself...he was in a mental institution then." and "You should listen to that one...Picasso painted it before he got into Cubism..." and such...

It was one of those *living is learning* moments that made me do the Snoopy Dance of Joy!

Another highlight was going to one of Mario Batali's restaurants, Otto, with our friends that live in Greenwich Village (Adele, Geo and Emily). Sam is an aspiring chef and we love watching Mario at work on the Food Channel, especially on Iron Chef America.

We also went to the Chelsea Brewpub and met our friends Xina, Tim, Cedric and Stella there. Xina's brother is the brewmaster there and the beer was GOOD!! We got a tour of the place, but the most fun was just hanging out in this wonderful brewpub right on the Hudson River and watching the Super Bowl (Sam said he liked shouting really loud in a public place!) with some friends.

Oh, the FOOD we ate while in New York!! We're STILL recalling the incredible flavors...and we can't wait to go again to EAT some more!

Everything about our trip was just absolutely wonderful and definitely Unschooling/Life at its best!

My boys' interviews for an unschooling newspaper article!

Jake and Sam were interviewed via e-mail for a local newspaper article. Here are their brilliant responses:

Jake:

***I wanted to find out from each of your sons what they thought about being unschooled - whether they ever think about going to regular school.***

Unschooling is fantastic and it is, in my opinion, the best way to really learn - I can't even imagine ever going to school. I've been to a few schools (just walking in, usually) and the whole environment just seemed so stifling and made me feel a little bit sick!

***When they are with other kids, if they have to explain that they don't go to regular school.***

Well, not really. Most of the time if they ask what grade we're in, we just casually say we don't go to school. Other kids are pretty accepting of it and even envious of it...we've had a few kids that wanted to join our family so that they could unschool, too!

***How they feel about their homeschooling - unschooling experience.***

This is hard to answer because it's always been my life, and that's the beauty of it, to me, it's *just life*. (A really great one at that!)

*** When they talk to other kids do they feel sorry for them that they don't have the same experience.***

I do wish that more kids could experience life this way, but I understand that going to school is their life, just like not going to school is mine. So I don't really feel sorry for them, but I wouldn't want to trade places with them!

***What is their favorite part of the process. What is their favorite subject.***

Again...to me, it's just *life* and there are no subjects - that's school. Out in the real world, is science really separated from math? Everything is connected in the real world.

***Do they expect to go to college?***

I don't know right now, honestly. I do have a lot of passions that I would love to see turn into something more (like a career), but right now in my life, I just don't feel like I should or can plan that far ahead.

I've always really hated the question, "What do you want to be when you growup?" because that seems to totally ignore what you are at the moment. As I always have, I will just keep going in the direction of my interests and trust that it will lead me to where I need to go (it always has).

*** Or anything else that they may want to talk about.***

I was trying to think of a way to explain to you how I learn through life, and all that I could come up with was, "What DON'T I learn from?" Everything has value.

For example, I've been interested in learning to speak and read Japanese for awhile. That came from my love of Japanese animation (it's called anime ~I discovered anime when I was about two) and then Japanese graphic novels(or manga). For my birthday a couple of years ago, I got an art collection book from one of my favorite video games. It's entirely written in Japanese and I've been wanting to know what it says! I learn so much about the Japanese culture from video games, reading manga, watching anime and looking up what I was curious about (I know a lot of Japanese words now from looking them up myself). And when we were in New York City, we went to a Japanese market,a Japanese bakery and a Japanese bookstore ~ just even going to those places and buying some things (who knew that red bean paste could taste so good in a pastry?!), I learned so much (and saw how much more there IS and that I want to learn!).

Mind you, this is only *one* example of something that I am learning from life, and only a small portion of my world and my days! There is so much more every single day.

Sam:

***I wanted to find out from each of your sons what they thought about being unschooled - whether they ever think about going to regular school.***

Heck, no. Never want to go to school ever. I hate the feel of it. I think unschooling is pretty great because I can learn from everything I do and I can stay at home most of the time and it's just nice to be home.

***When they are with other kids their each if they have to explain that they don't go to regular school.***

No, I just either say I homeschool or I don't go to school. Other kids usually say things like, "You're so lucky," "I hate school," or "I wish my parents homeschooled me."

***When they talk to other kids do they feel sorry for them that they don'thave the same experience.***

I feel sorry for some of the kids when they have to deal with bullies. I feel sorry for some of my friends who are forced to do something that they wouldn't naturally want to do - like my friend who had to square dance with other kids that he didn't like very much.

*** What is their favorite part of the process. What is their favorite subject.***

Subject? There aren't any subjects! I learn from everything I do! I learn from video games and trading card games, even, and those two things are lots of subjects combined! And I basically learned how to read from both of them.

***Do they expect to go to college?***

I don't really know at this point. Well, yeah, I'll probably want to go to college. Maybe culinary school some day...maybe when I'm 15 or 16. I've been interested in cooking since I was about two.

Learning through a Joyful Life

After living an unschooling life for the last fifteen or so years, I am finally geting around to keeping track of some of our every day awakenings. I write a lot on my *Shine with Unschooling* list, and for conference presentations, but I wanted a more personal account of the journey that is my children's lives, never having been to school...never having been schooled.

So I hope you enjoy hanging out with us for awhile...I know I do... ;)